"Standing Up Alive" Men's Gathering-
.......The Power Of Spirit.......

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Through the foundation of SUA, and the likes of Harry and others, Yolngu elders  saw  the openness  and receptiveness, normally so missing.  They felt a drawing to come and share, to share things never shared before, and empower us folk to learn what sacredness is, and to empower us to be part of building a bridge between our cultures. This wasn't something that just happened  day one and  continued throughout. This was something we all worked upon over the days. There were moments when  as two mobs the camps were split  as stuff came up and we realized how easily we misunderstand each other, we realized how easily it is for white folk to be insensitive.

There were some fellas that found the white leadership lacking as there own stuff came up around that insensitivity. Some wanted stronger leadership, some found themselves too much on the sea not knowing  or understanding the journey, finding it difficult to surrender to the white and black elders. For every person that struggled there were most that trusted and respected those darker moments, the challenges and their gift. As someone commented strongly in the circle,  as with other gatherings , its generally after a strong conflict, drama or feeling unfolding that the gathering moves to  a more centred and powerful place.  After one  phase where something that white folk intitiated, that triggered feelings in the Yolnga mob; then with some sharing it led to a powerful   sharing of this process, whereby the Yolnga mob saw the power in our white fella ritual.

Each challenge somehow took us to a greater sense of connectedness as a mob and as two cultures sharing and finding our way.

So with commitment to the journey and respect, the way was found.

The time  flowed in Koori time and the days slowly passed and the week felt like a month. As a mob we had broken up into clan groups of  about 8-10 and daily at different times we'd meet together, to share our process, have some fun or  work in the camp kitchen, collect firewood, whatever was needed. As a whole mob we'd gather at least daily in  the big sharing circle that involved housekeeping business, processing and unfolding leadership and direction. Often magical moments and unfoldings came out of the big circle. Men would stand up to themselves, so to speak, and share strongly, whether their journey, a challenge, their struggles or a strong vision or gift of knowledge.  This  would  often take on,   a life of its own until somehow, the  mood of the circle was fulfilled and spoken for. At circles end, another step  was taken as to the journey we were on. Then onto the day and handing ourselves over. The circle was the chance to integrate what was going on, but as soon as it was over, it was time to surrender again to the unknown.

I thought I held strong a choice  to honour elders, but the time with the Yolnga men dug up the holdings in me, where my culture has eroded this and I realized in a whole new way what respect for elders means. Being around these fellas who spoke their lingo most of the time and struggled with English meant that in communicating, a greater depth of listening was required. Listening to the words, the tone, the body language and feeling deeply.  In western culture our elders are sent to homes with their own age kin and given little forum to share their wisdom. Being with the Yolngu elders we learnt to look out for them, care for their needs and give them the physical ease to help support what they worked with best which is spirit - wisdom.

In some ways I've been taught to look out for myself and  getting my dinner before the elders one night, I felt  the shame and the sadness as to my relationship with myself in that place.  As well,  early in the piece a young Yolngu man probably younger than me asked me to do something for me. I noticed for a couple of days my  difficulty with that, but as my perspective shifted ,I saw him  differently and I acknowledged the strength he offered and my willingness to humble myself shifted. By putting them first or anyone for that matter I felt the resistance at first, then in acting anyway,  I felt the joy of giving. I feel to be a giving person but I got to know the parts of myself that isn't. As I  felt this awareness and clearing unfold, I looked out  more for where  I could be of service.  Watching the young white men who were asked to wait on the elders, or  others who wanted to and looked for the opportunity, I felt that magnet draw me  in. Just being of service in some way was freeing.

Giving Djalu a sholder massage at some point, knowing  he wasn't feeling well  came out of genuinely caring and  I realised deep down it  wasn't just out of respect and from me.Its flowing with spirit.  Being around Djalu and hearing him share from his heart, putting his hand on his heart as he so often did, or playing his yidaki with  healing heart purpose, it  was enivitable to be touched deeply and feel  my heart opening wider. It was enviitable unless  I blocked this love out, to  want to give back to him and the others in any way I could.

Tears in the eyes was a constant unfolding, listening to Djalu or Ranald interpreting or other men sharing from their heart and truth. Tears of joy was a constant daily experience.

Those tears and feelings of joy  came  in so many ways. Sitting next to Alfred one day,  as we waited  for a moment, in between a process,  as the mob was around , I said to him  breaking the silence. "We're  a big mob". I weas referring to us all there, he thought I was asking about his people. He looked to me with a faraway  almost teary look in his eyes and said

"We're a big  mob.yoh.. very beautiful.... humble people" When they  talk, its in broken English short and to the point  but carrying strong feeling. His description of his people as humble carried much feeling and truth. It wasn't big noting, it was factual and loving.

Whilst they were away they got word, that  a couple of family members back home had passed over and this troubled them, they knew they weren't there where they were needed and they knew there was work to do when they got home. Ceremony to support the passing. This coincided with challenges in our time together at SUA and that day the old men weren't feeling well.  They were troubled.

In our time there, the healing came , as it does; they taught us constantly what it was to remain open. There was a man that came and went against the wishes of the  white and black elders. He brought his anger to the pot and also the things that we didn't  want to look at. He did it  with intent. As men we  were confronted with  looking to  whether we were in integrity as a gathering, he also triggered in some of us, our fear of  fighting and our desire to fight or  react with anger. This man was an important gift. The Yolngu elders were amazing examples of acceptance and love in how they worked with this energy .  I was proud how everyone handled and worked with what it triggered up.  It could  have gone either way a couple of times, but the example was set by all the elders and compassion  and personal responsibility led the way.

Healing came in song too, yes song, yidaki and bilma supporting  dance. It was  their lifeblood.

They shared so much.  One day sitting in a circle learning some yidaki rhythms from Djalu,  Samuel   who is 84   joined us  and in a break in our playing ;  I can't  remember what led to him saying it, but  he looks over towards  a couple of us and sais with a gleam in his eye, leaning  towards us to accentuate it "maybe.. we dance tonight".

I decided to treasure that moment, I couldn't  help but treasure that moment. His desire to dance was  his desire to embrace fun and  love for life . And doing so  in his 80's, he danced like a young man. He spoke of traditional dance like a young fella would speak of going out and partying with his mates.

There were various moments when their handle on English would  get across so powerfully the essence of what they were trying to say. But there were many times when some of the content would go right over our heads. Thankfully there was Ranald, a white fella who understood lingo.  He walks as  shaman in his own way, facilitating mens groups and trips into the outback connecting with  culture and grounding  journeys of power. He would often explain  the dances, the stories and  the old fellas wisdom and put it in language we could understand. He would also embody the emotion of the journey we were on and bring it to the surface.

A lot of what I share may sound cryptic  and not of detail and content. This is true of the journey we  went on and even though we experienced detail and content, the essence of  the journey  and what is meant to come out into the world is the essence and the  action it encourages. In sacred rituals, indigenous peoples build power and teach wisdom in a way that it is embodied, so that when we  come back from a place of spirit, the body finds itself  renewed  and empowered with energy. The journey is a dreaming journey, sacred and held within.

The energy, the essence, is the juice and if you  hear the words and feel between the lines and the words the juice is imparted. Djalu often spoke of the Yidaki going out into the world and spirit touching people world wide. If we play with heart or feel the hearts message in this sharing that  comes from Yolngu mob and the land in Australia, from the aboriginal peoples and the earth mother, this is the purpose fulfilled. Djalu spoke of feeling our heart connection and following this. This is our connection with Spirit. As Djalu repeated  often, it doesn't matter whether we black or white. Speak from our heart and play from our heart. Sitting in a circle playing didg he would occasionally ask each of us to play our song. The essence of sharing was more important than learning something practically. He shared technical playing tips,  for some there was some practical learning, for  some  and for all as well, it was simply being  with the man, and feeling the spirit he shared. This was the juice, not the techniques.

Yidaki could be heard at various points in the day or by Djalu in focused ways but  it was not the priority. For the amount of didgs there and players and folk interested it was just  a piece in the puzzle not the main picture.

As the week gradually came closer  to completion, there was a feeling of peace that built and came over the camp. The week started with settling rain, then   sunny days unfolded that brought passion and fire. As healing and unity unfolded the sun stayed in the background and a soft cloud covering and stillness reflected what was happening for us. With the peace that descended there was a lightness  and humour that came with.

As we sat in a big circle one morning, someone honoured a  Murri fella ( Queensland aboriginal) 'Peter', whose  gift during the week involved sitting and painting a big canvas with a crocodile at the centre. The crocodile is a central totem animal  for some Yolngu people. He'd also completed a couple of other canvases which he brought partly worked on and gifted them to the Yolngu elders . In the circle we honoured his genorosity, and a  fella 'Bear' started an auction  of the crocodile painting knowing he needed  some income for his family for Christmas. Bere  was not an auctioneer and was just hamming it up , when others took it on as  more than fun and before long with Peters quiet approval to run with it, we had an auction happening. One fella jumped in with disaproval at money being involved, reflecting our distrust for money realities. This brought various men forward to share and so a  process clearing this,  but it was short and sweet  and we continued on. As one other fella said, "Yolngu people have traded  for four centuries since  the Dutch  travelled by and  what we unfolded was all about gifts of utmost generosity of spirit acknowledged by money in as giving  way as we could muster. Its all just spirit in action. Days earlier Peter had told me had hoped to sell his painting one day for $1500 if he could. It sold for $2500. He was over whelmed.

Before the trip south, the Yolngu  fellas had planned to bring some art and yidakis to sell but as it turned out they couldn't, so consequently there was no plan to sell anything. Djalu had only brought his own didg.

Well Petes painting being auctioned started something. Samuel the old fella had been painting  during the week and his piece held incredible power as it spoke of our gathering. He offered it up. The first bid was $1500, the second was $6000 and sold. A set of  Bilma (Clapsticks) for $1,000, a spear and woomera $1300 and it went on. Other spears were sold. Then Djalus didg . Starting price $2000, it was sold for $3000 and then gifted back to SUA for future gatherings. With each item the artist and creator was honoured and men stood up to speak for them and honour and respect their work. Another Murri fella Anthony whose  powerful didg was played by Djalu quite a lot through the gathering, offered his didg for sale, and   much healing  and blessings came through the men that shared about Anthony and  the acknowledgment that came his way. It was bought for $1500 by Mick who lives on the same community as Anthony. A double blessing for Anthony, is the type of man that gives much away and it was  beautiful twist that he both received  income for his family and he will continue to be able to play the didg. The buyers stretched  and gifted  more than what they could afford, it was a beautiful unfolding it all happened swiftly and with so much fun and laughs.

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